God, why did this breakup happen?
Why did you allow this relationship to begin if it was just going to lead to heartbreak?
Friend, is this what you’re experiencing in this season? Trust me, you’re not alone.
Heartbreak hurts so badly, and I don’t wish it upon anybody else. It literally feels like physical pain that suffocates you.
You wonder when you’re ever going to heal and if the pain will ever go away. You wonder where God is in the midst of this breakup.
Hold on, friend! We’re going to get through this together.
I can’t promise you that you’ll be completely healed after reading this blog post.
But I can share with you truths from Him that will provide comfort, clarity, and healing during this difficult season.
Why does God allow breakups to happen?
First of all, let me just validate the fact that breakups SUCK.
As I’m writing this post, it was just last month that I got my heart completely shattered.
Yes, the relationship wasn’t perfect, but I genuinely believed that this guy was heaven sent. He checked all my green flags and made me feel so content and happy.
But the truth was we weren’t aligned in some areas of our lives.
Eventually, things escalated quickly, which led to a teary-eyed breakup which I never saw coming.
The more I desperately tried to cling onto the remains of the relationship, the more rejected I felt… and the more angry I became at God.
Why did He allow this to happen?! Why did He allow me to meet this guy if we were only going to breakup?
The truth is He allows breakups to draw us back to Him!
The truth is God is love. Breakups happen because humans are sinful, and we hurt one another. We’re so complex and different, and we’re definitely not perfect. But God’s love is perfect.
Sometimes, it’s so easy to get swept into a relationship that we forget about God. We forget that we can’t rely on human love as a replacement of God’s love.
We might cling on so tightly to a relationship instead of clinging onto God. And because God takes away as freely as he gives, sometimes He takes away the things that are most precious to us in order for us to turn back to Him.
When we idolize a relationship or a person or anything in our lives, it blinds us from pursuing a whole-hearted relationship with Him.
This is God’s way of saying, “My dear beloved daughter, shift your focus back to me.”
How to trust God after a breakup
1. bring your pain to god
Are you angry at God? He can take it. Are you frustrated at Him? He wants to hear your frustration.
Growing up, I always thought that I should never feel negatively towards God.
After all, how could I be angry at God when He created me?! But the truth is, God already KNOWS your heart.
It’s so funny when we try to hide how we truly feel, but God is all-knowing AND loving.
So turn to Him when you feel angry. Allow yourself to get messy and vulnerable with Him.
Even in Psalm 77: 7-9, Asaph moaned when he thought about God and doubted His goodness:
7 “Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”
When we allow ourselves to get messy in front of God, it also makes us realize there is FREEDOM in honesty and vulnerability.
2. meditate on god’s character
This is something I constantly still have to remind myself when I start to doubt His goodness.
If you’re struggling to trust God, it’s so important to replace your doubts with the truths of who He is. Even if the enemy makes you question God’s character, you CAN choose to believe the truths of God.
Remember that the motives of the enemy is only to “steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10 NIV).
But God LOVES you, PROTECTS you, DOES NO HARM, BRINGS peace, and STRENGTHENS you.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18 NIV
If you are doubting His presence, the truth is He is closer than you think!
Instead of drawing away from Him, draw NEAR God.
He sees your pain and hurt. He hears your despair, cries, and groans. Friend, He wants you to bring your broken heart to Him.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
This verse has kept me going through this season of heartbreak.
His plans for you is NOT to cause you harm. If anything, when we hurt, God hurts WITH us. He loves us so much that our pain is His pain as well.
The good news, sis, is that He will give you a HOPE and a FUTURE. There is hope. There is a future for you, even if it’s SO incredibly difficult to see that right now.
Because trust me, I know. I’m sitting in the pain right now, but I’m trusting that God’s plans for me are GOOD and PROSPEROUS.
So hold onto this truth!
Hang this Bible verse on your wall, write it on a sticky note, and keep telling yourself that God WILL redeem and heal your broken heart.
He has given you a future.
3. pray for healing
Healing isn’t linear. It’s going to look like a messy rollercoaster ride. And that is so normal and okay.
Allow your emotions to be messy during this time. To cry your heart out to God. To feel great one day and awful the next. Why? Because you ARE human.
Allow yourself to be human. God gave us such complex emotions and feelings for a reason. He made us who we are. So let’s just allow ourselves to embrace the messiness of going through a difficult breakup.
If I could give you a hug, I SERIOUSLY would.
I wish we could all just huddle up together and pray over each other’s pain.
But even if I can’t do it in person, I’m going to do it virtually. This is my prayer for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
This sucks. Heartbreak sucks. The pain and hurt feel so unbearable. I’m praying for my dear sister right now. I’m praying that she would just be open, honest, and raw about her pain and suffering. That she would come to you, fully transparent about everything on her heart. You hear her cries at night and see her try to make it through the day. Lord, let her know that she is not alone in this season. Fill her with hope and peace knowing that even as difficult as it is right now, you will sustain and redeem her. Release any shame and lies about herself that she is holding onto and replace them with the truths of how you see her. Give her the strength that she doesn’t have and heal her broken heart. In Jesus’ mighty and powerful name, Amen.
Remember who you are in him
Let me just remind you, friend, that you are so deeply loved by the Creator himself.
Maybe this heartbreak is making you question your identity or worth. Maybe you’re hoping for a second chance or for you guys to get back together.
I want to encourage you to take this time to redirect your attention to God. Focus your attention on who God says you ARE, not who you were in the relationship.
You are WHOLE. (Colossians 2:10)
You are HIS. (Isaiah 43:1)
You are LOVED. (Jeremiah 31:3)
You are a CHILD OF GOD. (Romans 8:17)
You are NOT ALONE. (Matthew 28:20)
I’m praying for you, sis! Feel free to reach out or comment below. My inbox is always open. <3
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