It’s difficult to give up control, especially when you’re so used to desiring it.
Everyone desires control to some extent. Whether it’s through our status, appearance, relationships, or future, we crave control because it makes us feel good and safe.
We desire to control how others see or respond to us so we try to “fix” ourselves and fit in as best as possible. We freak out and stress over trying to figure out our future plans.
We try to control other people in hopes that they will change and react negatively when they don’t.
Control is dangerous because it keeps us in constant fear with a lack of trust towards God.
When we want to have things go our way, we’re basically telling ourselves that “our plans are higher than God’s” and “things should go the way we want.”
When we desire to control our lives, pride and self-righteousness start to take root. It could be our finances, career, relationships, health, and future. Yet, all these areas of our lives are not within our control.
And who else agrees that control is so counter-intuitive? You’re probably reading this right now because you agree with me.
It feels good to have control, but the more control we want over our lives, the more anxious and more out of control we feel.
The more control we desire, the more distant we become from God.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I have a feeling you’re reading this because you realized at some point that your desire for control has backfired and made you feel even more out of control.
You’re tired of feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and stressed. You just want to give up control to God and let go.
How do we actually give up control to God and let go?
Before we can learn to give up control, we need to understand where it comes from.
where the desire for control comes from
It might be helpful to understand where our desire for control comes from.
This will allow us to bring our inner wounds to God and seek emotional healing.
As I’m on a path to emotional healing with God, I find it necessary to understand the parts of who I am.
The more I am able to understand and accept myself, the more I am able to bring these things to God and seek healing through Him.
I grew up with very protective parents who were often controlling. Of course, parents want to protect their child from harm, but sometimes, it can do more harm than good.
This was my case where I grew up very sheltered and fearful. I grew up with the belief that fear was a way to control others and get what people wanted.
I share this because it brings to light things with what I went through as a child. It helps me to process why I, myself, have such a desire for control.
But that’s not to say to just let it be. I believe in self-compassion and acceptance, but negligence and constant self-pity can lead to bitterness.
If you don’t intentionally try to work through and heal from past wounds, you might start to resent or become bitter towards people who have hurt you. Trust me, I know! It’s never a fun place to be.
So I encourage you to look inward and really reflect on where your desire for control comes from.
Where does your desire for control over your finances really stem from? Where does your desire for your future plans come from?
Has someone in the past told you that you had to have everything figured out? Are you believing a lie that you’re a failure if you don’t have your life together?
Maybe this is a time to sit with God and really pray and reflect over your heart.
how to give up control to god
1. meditate on god’s character
The reason why we struggle so much with letting go of control and giving it to God is because we don’t really know Him all that well.
Oof, I know that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.
How can you possibly trust someone with your WHOLE life if you don’t even really know the person?
Can you really let go and let God if you don’t really know Him? Do you really trust Him or you’re trying to convince yourself that you do?
So who does God say He is?
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19
“Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” – Psalm 55:22
God is your Provider, who will ALWAYS sustain you and meet ALL of your needs.
“Whatever the Lord pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps.“ – Psalm 135:6
“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.“ – Isaiah 14:24
Reflect on who God is! He DOES as he PLEASES – everything above and below, he is in CONTROL over all things.
He will never abandon you or cast you out because He is faithful and good. His unfailing love is shown throughout the Bible, so cling onto these truths.
The more you meditate on who God is and His character, the easier it will be to put your trust in Him because you know Him! It makes sense, right?
2. Memorize scripture
Usually, when we’re desperate for control over our lives, we feel anxious and fearful. We start to doubt the God’s power and authority over our lives.
This is when we become vulnerable and susceptible to the lies of the enemy.
But how do we combat these lies? With the Truth!
I have to admit – I’m not the best when it comes to memorizing Scripture, but I do like to keep 2-3 Bible verses in my back pocket when I often find myself anxious and worried.
If you’re wrestling with fear and anxiety, here are a few Bible verses that will SPEAK truth and pierce those lies!
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” – Psalm 27:1
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” – Psalm 46:10
I encourage you to write down a Bible verse for this week and MEMORIZE it daily. Write it on a sticky note and put it on your mirror or wall. Type it on your phone and save it as your lock screen.
When you find yourself weary and anxious, remind yourself that God is in control. Remind yourself for all the times God has sustained you in the past.
Choose to follow Him instead of your own ways because “He is the way and the truth and the life.” (John 14:6)
3. Pray and confess
There is SO much power and healing in prayer. Prayer is a time when you get to come to God and just have an honest conversation with Him.
Confess that you’ve been struggling with control lately. Share with Him how you truly feel and don’t be afraid to get vulnerable.
God already knows our innermost desires and struggles, so it’s time that we get honest with ourselves.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
He commands us to pray, so if you haven’t been incorporating prayer into your daily walk with Him, now’s the time to do so.
Schedule time, whether it’s in the morning or before you go to bed, to pray to Him.
Personally, I keep a prayer journal because I get to read back and reflect on my time with God. Start by carving out 10-15 minutes daily to just pray to God!
Daniel was a great example of a strong prayer life. In fact, his prayer life led to him being thrown into the lion’s den! Yet, he never stopped praying and God delivered him!
So let’s be more like Daniel, where we’re so immersed in prayer that nothing will shake us because we know God’s got us.
let go and let god
Letting go and giving control to God is not just a one and done deal.
I think so many of us have this expectation that once we decide to surrender control to God, then we’re not going to struggle anymore with control.
Then we get frustrated and wonder why we’re still wrestling with control even after giving it to God!
To give up control to God, you need to SURRENDER DAILY to Him.
As humans, we crave control and desire things we shouldn’t. That’s why we need to take every thought captive and give them to Him.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” – Ephesians 6:12
The enemy knows your greatest strengths and weaknesses. It knows your fears and will try to find ways to make you doubt God’s authority.
That is why we NEED to get into the Word. We need to remind ourselves who God is.
As we continue to know more about who God is and trust in His character, we will naturally want to give our desires to God because we know that we cannot do anything on our own.
So let me ask you, what do you need to let go of today and give to God?
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